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5 Top Tips for Empaths and Highly Sensitive People

28/11/2015

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Did you know that about 20% of the population is considered highly sensitive?  When you think about it that's actually quite a significant amount of the population. The numbers aren’t large enough to make it what would be called common, so for that reason it often gets passed over or isn’t quite understood.

Many people look at being sensitive (even if they are sensitive themselves) as a double edged sword, a hindrance or a terrible defect because it doesn’t fit the so called norms of how one should or shouldn't act in public.  This is not the case for most sensitive people as they are more awake, more aware, more compassionate, more forgiving (yes we've all been there, with that one narcissist or many in some people's cases) and often far more driven.

Highly Sensitive people believe and just know in their heart that things can be better and work hard to take action or research to  make it happen. It is so very  hard for a Empath/Sensitive person to see any form of suffering whether human or animal without trying to relieve the pain on some level, to see heartache without expressing love, healing, a kind ear or a helping hand and to see a challenge without brain storming the solution where possible. The world of an Empath or Highly Sensitive Person can be often overlooked, misunderstood or seen to be using ego instead of compassion because they Empath or the HSP sees nothing but compassion, nothing but love, nothing but the need to heal on some level if at all possible.  Not to make themselves feel grandiose but to see another person or animal live happy in their lives and free from pain. 

Empaths and Sensitive people are often so giving of their time and energy that they forget to take care of themselves.  It's time to stop right now in this moment and ask yourself "Where is my energy going right now, and is it adding to my happiness and balance?"

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​To help you out
here are
5 top tips
for Empaths
and Highly 
Sensitive people


​1. Empaths and Highly Sensitive people see the world differently than most and with that gift comes such wonderful compassion, authenticity and truthfulness (even if some people don't want to hear it). Because Empaths feel what others are feeling,  we often feel a obliged to help, offer a solution or knowledge that we just seem to pull from no where and we react with bigger emotion and more rapid action than most can handle. On the surface, this appears to be a good thing, an admirable trait, but for some it can come to complete misunderstanding as the person that may need our help takes our advice/helpfulness as egotistical or know it all behavior instead of the true nature of which it has come.


There are many challenges with reacting to a situation in the heat of heightened emotion. The other person might not want help, we might not be able to provide the right kind of help or we might offer help that is actually enabling the person, which can end up doing more harm than good to them and us.
 
Before jumping the gun to help take the time to think both logically and emotionally. Understand that the whole world can’t be saved but we can make a difference in the people's lives that cross our paths for a reason. The responsibility comes in choosing our reactions wisely and embracing our Empathic gifts all at the same time finding balance within ourselves and in helping others along the way.

2. Listen and trust your inner guide, that gut feeling to protect yourself in any given situation. Empaths and Highly Sensitive people have highly equipped intuition that comes from a finely tuned awareness of what is happening around us. Unfortunately though, we don’t always pay attention to what our gut is telling us (have you ever had one of those moments, where you wish you could go back in time and listen to what your gut was telling you before you second guessed yourself?)

Because of our finely tuned sensitive nature, we tend to be far more trusting and way more willing to take people at their word. There are people that will take advantage of that (which is often why Narcissists seem to pray on Empaths and Sensitives drawing them in and then the lesson in boundaries begins), and that is why listening to our inner guide, that gut feeling  is so VERY important.

It is this inner source of wisdom that protects us and warns us to tread carefully on our journey's. As Empaths and Highly Sensitive people, we are so focused on helping everyone else that we often ignore the warning signs our intuition or gut feeling provides. Pay attention to your gut hits as closely as you pay attention to your desire to help others. (All in the name of balance right?) Doing so will help you by bringing balance into your life which better prepares you to have the energy/time to help others.

3. Stay focused on the things that really matter in life like living in the moment, Love and your Happiness.  Because we are so aware and absorb so much of the energy that surrounds us, it is easy to lose our focus and take on other people’s problems as if they are our own. It’s important that we stay focused on the things that matter in our lives first as someone once told me it's Self-care not Selfish and avoid over-committing ourselves to the point of overwhelm or sickness.

We are way to quick to say yes but upon contemplation we might realize we are not be the best person to help out, or maybe we have to much going on in our own world, or a lack of energy to be able to really help the person the way they need . This can lead to over-complicating and overthinking a situation to the point that it becomes detrimental to our own responsibilities and health. The lesson here is to keep our priorities first, help when it makes sense and find other resources when necessary. It's okay to say no! It's okay to look after you first!

4. Being sensitive is not the same as being weak or constantly teary. People who aren’t as sensitive as we are may interpret our ability to empathize and feel as a weakness (have you ever been told you are far to sensitive in what feels like a rather negative way?). The truth is, it takes a HUGE amount of inner strength to feel the constant bubble of happiness, sadness, physical pain, planetary movement and even heartache of those around us. This is not a burden we choose to carry but a gift in which we were entrusted because we are able to handle it.  We are only ever given what we can handle in that moment on our journey's and we never would have been entrusted with such a wonderful gift if our higher power didn't think we could do it.

The key to using our gift with purpose/grace, and in service to others, is to rely on that inner strength and wisdom. It’s that strength that helps us to stay strong and keep from internalizing the energy that is so easy for us to absorb or take on board. It gives us the resources to use the energy we encounter and transmute it back into the universe with  positivity.

5. Be the courageous being you were born to be and continue to live from your authentic true gorgeous self. The biggest lesson for Empaths and Highly Sensitive people is to not let others who might not understand our gift change us from believing and trusting in ourselves. It is often easier to hide our sensitive side from the world than to be judged by it. Continue to live your truth and be proud of who you are.  Your sensitivity is not a burden, it's your SUPERPOWER, you are a warrior with love, passion and kindness. It is who we are, and the Universe needs us to share it.  Doing so will create a ripple effect of a more loving, kind and peaceful world.

Being an Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person is such a gift and even the greatest gifts can be a burden (double edged sword as it's often put) at times. Remember these top tips to keep you grounded in life while staying true to yourself, honoring your amazing gifts and those that are blessed by your gifts.

Love and Warm Blessings
Rebecca Fox R.M.
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4 Tips for EMPATHS to help lose the emotional weight

27/11/2015

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Just so you know this isn't a blog about how to lose weight but more about understanding how weight gain gain be attributed to many different things, especially for an empath.

The information within this blog is from my own research, clients and my own experience as an Empath.

Feel free to share your experience below.
​

Energetic Boundaries - 

Most people do not know about emotional weight gain or how to lose/prevent/ become aware of it because most of us do not know what it means to be an empath, or sensitive.  When we don’t have good energetic boundaries, our system whips itself into action and tries to make up for it by giving us physical boundaries, i.e. body fat generally located around our middles.  For empaths and intuitives I see two things tend to happen.  Empaths without realizing it tend to  process other people’s emotions, and that can make us gain weight because it actually isn’t our stuff and we’re unconsciously trying to shut it out. 

The second thing that can happen is also boundary related—that when an empath begins opening up to their intuitive gifts, especially in the upper energy centers (which is generally the ones that open first), and we don’t do things to also keep the lower energy centers in balance, our body dives into action again of course on our behalf and  compensates by having us gain weight in an attempt to ground us.  Lots of Empaths suddenly develop sugar and carb cravings (salty chips was my favorite one of these, which makes us gain weight but further increases the energy up into our heads and a vicious cycle has begun) when they begin exploring their gifts. To prevent this, the lower energy centers need more attention.  Exercise is essential for Empaths.  And to help the sugar cravings, Empaths need far more water, protein, and fat than most people.

Self Protection -

Some of the finely tuned, loving, wise, intuitive, empathic people I know carry a few extra pounds. Many of my clients who have extreme  empathic/intuitive abilities almost always struggle with weight gain and/or health issues of various kinds. This is due to the way their body translates the energy of others around them. 
Often, this over-sensitivity to their environment/people stems from a childhood struggle or abuse of some kind. In order to compensate for the overwhelming flood of energy felt by those with empathic abilities, their bodies will often carry extra weight as a type of insulation between themselves and others (it’s a form of self- protection). I like to call it the tire of self-love, you know that extra padding of the tire around the middle, it really is your body saying, hey gorgeous I care about you and in order to protect you this is what i'm going to do.

So what can we do about it? It's time to start really listening to your physical bodies Empaths.  It's time to start seeing the signs early and digging deep to the emotional or energetic issue/imbalance that is causing our body to react and jump into physical protection mode.  The more we know about ourselves, the more aware we become the more likely we are to stay balanced and healthy in our weight and minds.  

Empaths and Relationships - 

Have you ever noticed how you as an Empath start to  gain weight as soon as you enter a new relationship? 

I have noticed it in myself and it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship,  just anyone that you love deeply.  As an Empath entering a relationship of this nature it can take you by surprise just how much you think about that person in a day and merge with their energy whether you know it or not.

When we merge with this person's energy we are essentially taking on or feeling how they are feeling in that moment and quite possibly all of their emotional deep set troubles.  The normal thing that runs through our heads is ohhhh well i'm having fun and i'm loving someone deeply i'm not surprised if i let myself go a little.  Ahhhhh NO in actual fact you may find that your body has taken that dive into I must protect my human vessel and so the weight goes on.  Although we the human are feeling nothing but the love we feel all the time our bodies are setting us up to be protected from merging with that persons energy constantly and so little by little the weight goes on to maintain a level of protection so you don't have to feel their "STUFF" all the time and lose your sense of self.  When this happens is my ahhhhhh start listening or things start to go downhill,  i can get both physically and emotionally exhausted and start to feel energetically sick.

Empaths and Balance - 

Although it seems easier said than done sometimes the MOST important thing for any Empath is to trust their intuition and take action when needed.  It's very easy to hear your intuition say...time to get off the computer/couch and get your butt outside into the fresh air and get those legs moving.
It doesn't matter how many Empaths i talk to one of the biggest things to stay in balance for any Empath is exercise, it doesn't matter how big or how small it just needs to be consistent. 

When you're feeling out of sorts ask yourself what is my energy doing? How am i feeling today? Do I need to cleanse my energy centers or jump in an epsom salt bath to cleanse the energy of others away from me and down the plug hole? Have I drunk enough water today? Am I happy? Am I stressed/worried about something?
If you can ask yourself questions like this you will soon find the imbalance and start looking for solutions to rectify it before your physical body dives into action and starts handling the imbalance for you.

Feel free to share your aha moments or experiences below.

Much Love and Gratitude to you all.
Rebecca Fox R.M.
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The Emotional Empath & Relationships

9/11/2015

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When working with many Empaths both in mentoring and in workshops I’ve seen many highly sensitive people called emotional empaths who unknowingly absorb the stress and pain of others, including their partners, family or children.  Intimate relationships are a challenge for emotional empaths because they are the sponges of the world and tend to get overwhelmed very easily. Without being aware of it although they want that love connection more than ever, they avoid romantic partnerships and intimacy because deep down they’re afraid of getting engulfed by other people's emotions. 

I can relate to this because I am an empath.  I know that feeling of wanting to cuddle and then NEEDING to roll away into your own energy and space as you sleep. That pain in your heart as you feel your partners overwhelming love for you on top of your own overwhelming love for them, so much so that your heart begins to hurt or you burst into tears because the emotion is just too intense to handle.

Emotional Empaths are a unique and wonderful species.  Whereas others may thrive in bliss on the togetherness of being a couple, for emotional empaths like me, too much togetherness can be hard to take and may cause us to bolt or hide away for some energy breathing room.  Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner’s emotions and become anxious or exhausted when we don’t have time to decompress in our own personal energy space.  It's hard enough living in the world with energy running around us constantly that when we are within in our own four walls it's important to be able to breathe and just be in our own energy for awhile.   You may need to help others by educating them of your needs—make it clear that this isn’t about not loving them or wanting to push them away.  Once you are able to do this, you’re able to build relationships filled with understanding.

We’re what I like to call super-responders (that's right we have super powers lol); our emotional empath experience of a relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with 100 senses instead of the five we are given.  Think of all those times you feel a little off,  you speak with your partner and realise it's them that's a little off you have just connected so deeply with them that you feel their aura and their emotions as your own.  You know intuitively if they are feeling off, sick, upset or happy just as a mother intuitively knows when there's something wrong with her child.  You bond at the heart, but you bond within the aura and your partners emotions to some degree as well.  It took me a long time to realise just how much that can affect a relationship and the need for personal energy space.

For Emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, they must set emotional boundaries.  This means asserting your personal space needs—the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don’t feel they’re on top of you, it's essential this is a conversation that your partner is included in before they start to feel closed out and like you're ignoring them or running away, communication is key.  Emotional Empaths can’t fully experience intimacy with another until they do this.  Next to communicating your needs with your partner it is also essential that the emotional/physical empath sets boundaries for personal space at home, and in public places.  If you have not set your boundaries and don't know how to keep yourself emotionally safe and protected it is very hard to stay clear and prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed in public situations.

All of us have an invisible energetic boundary fence that sets a comfort level in which we are able to relax. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being drained by others you surround yourself with. Then intimacy can blossom, even if you’ve felt suffocated and blocked in before. 

Here are some tips to help you find your personal space within a relationship:

As you’re getting to know someone, share that you’re a sensitive, empathic person and that you may need some quiet time often in order to stay balanced.  Most partners will be understanding and it also gives your partner a chance to voice some of their needs; the wrong person will put you down for being “overly sensitive,” (have you heard that one before?) and won’t respect your needs.

Emotional Empaths require solitude and some downtime to regroup and rebalance. Even a small amount of time to escape prevents emotional overload and unbalance. Retreat for five minutes into the toilet. Take a walk around the block or if you're lucky enough in nature/the beach. Read or listen to music in a separate room.  It's self-care, it's not selfish don't forget you emotional empaths you are allowed time for you too, it's not always about giving.

Normally you would have your partner sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, it can feel suffocating and make it hard for the empath to sleep, no matter how wonderful and caring the partner may be.  It's nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space, especially if they are around public spaces throughout the day such as work.  Communication for your needs is essential to help your partner understand it's nothing against them, and that there is no need to feel insecure. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night’s rest,  can be torture. Energy fields (aura's) blend during sleep, which can overstimulate empaths to the point of insanity if it carries on night after night.  It could be as simple as protecting your energy field when you go to bed or maybe even sleeping in separate beds or rooms a couple of nights a week just to keep balance.

It takes an understanding partner to understand the needs of an Empath but it's not impossible and that's why it's so important to really know yourself and what you need to keep balanced in all areas of your life.  Once you’re able to articulate your needs, being comfortable in an intimate relationship is completely possible.  

Love and Warm Blessings to all
Rebecca


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    Hello & Welcome

    I’m Rebecca Fox. I write for   self-discovery, growth and to help others on their personal journey. I believe authenticity creates radiance. On my own journey back to self (cause yes we never stop growing), I share my knowledge and story in the hope that you find some aha moments, tools or inspiration to be the best that you can be Let's do this...We are all in this together!

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