I can relate to this because I am an empath. I know that feeling of wanting to cuddle and then NEEDING to roll away into your own energy and space as you sleep. That pain in your heart as you feel your partners overwhelming love for you on top of your own overwhelming love for them, so much so that your heart begins to hurt or you burst into tears because the emotion is just too intense to handle.
Emotional Empaths are a unique and wonderful species. Whereas others may thrive in bliss on the togetherness of being a couple, for emotional empaths like me, too much togetherness can be hard to take and may cause us to bolt or hide away for some energy breathing room. Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner’s emotions and become anxious or exhausted when we don’t have time to decompress in our own personal energy space. It's hard enough living in the world with energy running around us constantly that when we are within in our own four walls it's important to be able to breathe and just be in our own energy for awhile. You may need to help others by educating them of your needs—make it clear that this isn’t about not loving them or wanting to push them away. Once you are able to do this, you’re able to build relationships filled with understanding.
We’re what I like to call super-responders (that's right we have super powers lol); our emotional empath experience of a relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with 100 senses instead of the five we are given. Think of all those times you feel a little off, you speak with your partner and realise it's them that's a little off you have just connected so deeply with them that you feel their aura and their emotions as your own. You know intuitively if they are feeling off, sick, upset or happy just as a mother intuitively knows when there's something wrong with her child. You bond at the heart, but you bond within the aura and your partners emotions to some degree as well. It took me a long time to realise just how much that can affect a relationship and the need for personal energy space.
For Emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, they must set emotional boundaries. This means asserting your personal space needs—the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don’t feel they’re on top of you, it's essential this is a conversation that your partner is included in before they start to feel closed out and like you're ignoring them or running away, communication is key. Emotional Empaths can’t fully experience intimacy with another until they do this. Next to communicating your needs with your partner it is also essential that the emotional/physical empath sets boundaries for personal space at home, and in public places. If you have not set your boundaries and don't know how to keep yourself emotionally safe and protected it is very hard to stay clear and prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed in public situations.
All of us have an invisible energetic boundary fence that sets a comfort level in which we are able to relax. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being drained by others you surround yourself with. Then intimacy can blossom, even if you’ve felt suffocated and blocked in before.
Here are some tips to help you find your personal space within a relationship:
As you’re getting to know someone, share that you’re a sensitive, empathic person and that you may need some quiet time often in order to stay balanced. Most partners will be understanding and it also gives your partner a chance to voice some of their needs; the wrong person will put you down for being “overly sensitive,” (have you heard that one before?) and won’t respect your needs.
Emotional Empaths require solitude and some downtime to regroup and rebalance. Even a small amount of time to escape prevents emotional overload and unbalance. Retreat for five minutes into the toilet. Take a walk around the block or if you're lucky enough in nature/the beach. Read or listen to music in a separate room. It's self-care, it's not selfish don't forget you emotional empaths you are allowed time for you too, it's not always about giving.
Normally you would have your partner sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, it can feel suffocating and make it hard for the empath to sleep, no matter how wonderful and caring the partner may be. It's nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space, especially if they are around public spaces throughout the day such as work. Communication for your needs is essential to help your partner understand it's nothing against them, and that there is no need to feel insecure. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night’s rest, can be torture. Energy fields (aura's) blend during sleep, which can overstimulate empaths to the point of insanity if it carries on night after night. It could be as simple as protecting your energy field when you go to bed or maybe even sleeping in separate beds or rooms a couple of nights a week just to keep balance.
It takes an understanding partner to understand the needs of an Empath but it's not impossible and that's why it's so important to really know yourself and what you need to keep balanced in all areas of your life. Once you’re able to articulate your needs, being comfortable in an intimate relationship is completely possible.
Love and Warm Blessings to all